8:45 - 9:45 AM

8:45 - 9:45 AM (Part 1)

Had just watched Ian McKellen (an aged Sherlock) in Mr Holmes,stumbling about, unsteady on his feet in old age.Coming down my stairs, I see that in this my old age.Now, we both so limited in time before we are gone.I see I’ve had some insights,but feel I need more for my journey –this life, then next.Holmes, in his old age, feels isolated,especially by his neglect for the feelings of others.I settled by my sliders to meditate,motivated by that need I feel,and a crow calls nearby.Then I think I must check how thorough they might have beenfor the food I put out yesterday –are the fudgicle sticks there on the ground,of the four I threw out for them(unfit from thawing and freezing).If the crows really liked them, the sticks will be gone,taken quickly away as a special catch, and not shared.But if they just pecked at them on the ground,the sticks will be there.And then I feel some satisfaction, in some measure,I feel one with the crows and the sticksand the ground and the space outside my sliders,oneness that I wouldn’t have noticed years ago.At times, things are just alive with being,and the space between things even more so,with the being that is potential for all things.

8:45 - 9:45 AM (Part 2)

For quite some time,I’ve been very uneasy at the possibility of a next life,and how changed the world will be,with little caution taken for the vastness,ungrasped, by those deciding what next.In particular, the way I made my living will be gone –teaching how structures stand together –to communicate the inner simplicity I feelfor all the parts gracefully connected,that seemed part of me.All such calculations will be done by a computer.So, what for me?And just now, I feel the value there will beto point out what’s missing in all of the computers,and the inadequate care for this,so hastily neglected.A possibility I could aim for next,and worth preparing a little more now –Vision (paramita 8).And I relax a little more.

8:45 - 9:45 AM (Part 3)

Just now, I glimpse,some of the limits on me through so much of my life,by personality and conditioning –by the barriers of defensiveness,trying to protect from more hurt,felt, and the sense for a threat from around me –for a basic hostility that can be there.But increasing recognition for goodnessat the bottom of everything altogether,a pervasive urge towards what is right,relaxes the need for defensiveness.And accordingly,more is seen,and comes in.