Ray Lisa Michael

Surprise!So much, we have no way of knowing…The youngest child, Michael, of my brother Ray,struggles in the calamity of leukemia.And this suffering triggers a reconnectionof his three children with me.The resurface of my dormant memory of my brother,my broken brother,surprises me,at the power of the suffering I saw then,and I now see again anew.Ah yes, I remember, how deep that was.So much pain…And with a little continuing interaction with his children,I feel what may be my deepest connection to him, ever.Because I feel his energy now flowing from his children,and it is definitely still a presence of my brother.And it is even more than his energy -it is Ray’s “being” that I feel.Because it is his beingbefore he was injured and burdened,so early on,by the fierce confusion of my family;before he took on his feeling of being wrong in his heart,because of the suffering, he found himself in.So his being before that,because I feel his being continuing onwith his children without that mistakethat he was wrong in his heart.And so I am closer to him now than ever,because before we had a distance between usfrom my not feeling the error in methat he felt in himself.And I can sense his “being” more clearly than ever,his original being,completely free of the confusioninherited from our parents and the world around.Thus, Ray, Lisa, and Michael carry on now,beyond that brief span that my older brother had.And I am very grateful…