Our Connections

Our Connections

First opportunity, I checked the container I put outside my sliders for my coyote - food gone, almost cleaned, and the container appeared nearly (or completely) unmoved.Used to be, he would snatch the container, and take it away from the house, dropping some things along the way. The stillness of it now measures some kind of trust we have, that feels profound with this wild creature.By comparison, yesterday, I checked the recent charge for my very local car service - 2 1/2 times the high end of common charges. I have enjoyed the comfortable service of this family business. Now, with aging, they brought in a new manager sometime this year. It seemed he snatched for the opportunity at what he wanted, a little like a wild animal will do.Losing things with changes, often something that felt good.Seldom do I reach a person with a customer service call. So there’s no one to hear what I want, and I just get repetition of their same menu, that doesn’t include it.But then also, back a while, a citizen bank service person heard what I said, but did nothing, with no record of my call. This was repeated with another one, and a third had problems too.So it has long been that connections have failed us, yet what is the hope for better?Thus, I clench my fists, somewhat, to rely on it, which tends to leave tension that I carry.However, with long trial, unclenching fists seems to be indicated. The more I do that, the more I leave the container, just as it lays, the more beneficial it is.It appears we are all much more than we realize, but are caught in our patterns. And laying them down, opens new things we’ve been missing, while we snatch for things we want. And it seems we already have more than we realize, if we let things truly lie still at moments.

Though many around us, actually are snatching to get something from us…

There’s a way, and I knew, that I had to go away…

Over 50 years ago, I was a student, 4.0, both graduate and undergraduate engineering, married to a girl from my high school class, following along from what I saw around me.But what was starting to show, horrors, leading to three sibling suicides (and later 2 nephews), and the question about all of it everywhere!Today, I have a profound isolation. Cancer treatment, over 10 years ago, leaves my body old and frail, and restricts me, with its needs for care, from little apart from that care, that I quietly carry out at home.My wife’s death, six years ago, and my best friend and neighbor death recently, are further profound and stark losses.Yet, I may never have been happier than right now!Often, when not just meeting needs, I lie in meditation. And this stillness, quiets the little turmoils in my body happening much of the other times. And commonly, I lie completely fulfilled, moments of freedom from past suffering and errors, and a bigger space, than around me I was ever told of.

So, back when there was only question that arose to me, Cat Stevens sang a song, and I could sing the lines with him, and did, and mean it personally more than most anything else I could say. The words stood as true!If they were right,I’d agree,but it’s them they know not me, now,there’s a way,and I know,that I have to go away!I know,I have to go….